Purpose
The purpose of this blog is because I enjoy writing out my feelings. I choose to keep this public because I know that there are people just like me out in the world. This blog has had over 4000 hits and that is important to me even though only my negative posts get seen by the public for some reason. Why do I always bring out the worst in people?
I just wish that I had a purpose in life. Does my life matter to anyone? Is this why I’m suicidal? I know that is why I keep making some stupid decisions. I don’t understand myself at all. I’m still learning though. I guess that is all that matters. I will find a purpose. I just have to keep looking. I will stumble upon something eventually. I’m impatient though.
I think you have to make the purpose
Keep fighting, I’m pulling for you.
I hope you find your purpose in life.
Hi Jeff,
I just stumbled across your blog.
I find it really positive that you have such an incredible ability to express yourself. Your honesty and bravery shine through clearly in your writing. I really get a sense of you as a person who has been struggling with pain and the intensity of life for a long time, but who has an innate optimism and is committed to finding joy and a meaningful purpose.
People who know their purpose – their calling – early in life are rare. Most of us need to spend time exploring the inner workings of our selves and our situation in life before we can know who we are and what we want. What we can can do (our purpose) comes after these realisations.
As life goes on, the immediacy of childhood hurts and teenage angst drops away. It becomes clearer that we are all in this together. No-one is out there wanting us to fail or make fools of ourselves unless they are hurting so much that pain is all they can see. When we realise that the only reason people judge is because they are in as much or more pain as us, their power to hurt us disappears and transforms into empathy.
Once we understand that we are all vulnerable and mortal, it becomes easier to share our feelings and understand ourselves and each other. This ultimately provides meaning to life.
I have no doubt that your purpose will come as you learn more about yourself and your strength grows. You have the gift of expression,and that will take you a long way.
I wish you every joy, and I’m sure it will come.
Hi Jeff, Thank you for continuing to write in your blog. My heart cries out for you, I can how heavy the pain your carry within pulls you down. I’ve been there far too many times. I really do understand. May angels wings hold you up when you feel you can’t carry on any longer.
Please hear me – You do have purpose and your life DOES matter. I’ve asked myself those very questions many times during my life. I’ve come to realize that all the pain, all the suffering from years of horrific abuse I’ve endured – even after all this time, I do matter and there is a purpose and reason why I survived. I know that to my core it is true for you too.
You might not feel like it all the time, but you are an Angel by sharing your feelings with us. Writing your feelings inspires others to write about their feelings. You show others that they are not alone. And neither are you – you are not alone my friend.
with Love,
Joan